Hi… Well my name is Emma… I am 16, i have been caring for my dad ever since we were in a huge car accident, in 2002.. i was 11… i was fine but my dad has a really bad back and really bad knees…from it. Because he is unable to do the things he has always wanted to with his only daughter he is always up set and he gets very sore, and doesn’t want to talk to anyone not even me… we have been close ever since my dad and mum got divoresed in 2000 .. i live with my dad and i love him to death and wouldn’t change anything in my life. I am not saying that it is really good but just because i couldn’t bare to loose my family.. my family is the best thing in my life my sister and brothers always try and help me when they can , and when they c me once a week or once a fortnight but no-one actually knows what i am going through. So i just wanted to share this to let you know you are still able to do stuff maybe not as much as your friends but … you can get help… if anyone else knows what i am going through please post a message. – Emma, aged 16

I am their lifelines

I love them so

They can get annoying

But i still love them

They have autism

They dont know

What it is

That is wrong with them

They know they are different

They can see that

Its not like they can change

Just like that

When they talk

You have to listen

They are important

Just like me

I help them out

They know I love them

When we talk

I like to listen

I’d like to say that everyone

Is different

But their special

To me anyway

I love them so

Sometimes I need them

But most of all

They need me

Joshua and James

You are my brothers

You are so special

I love you both

You listen

When I talk

I listen

When you talk

When you get angry

You know I’m here

I’ll help you

You know it too

I love you both

More than I can say

This is for you

Forever each day

(Dedicated to my brothers Joshua and James. Even though they are autistic. I love them) – Young Carer, aged 15

I help care for my sister who has a mental illness called schizo- affective disorder and severe depression and my dad who has diabetes, heart problems, sleep apnea, and had a hip replacement earlier this year, not to mention all his other illnesses that I can’t remember.

My sister has been sick for about 2 and a half years now but she is starting to get a bit better. She still has good days and bad days but most of the time she is pretty even.

My dad has been sick for about four years now. His illnesses mean that he has to go and see specialists in Melbourne every 6 weeks or so. His hip replacement means that he wasn’t able to drive for a while. He can’t walk very far or very fast and is considered disabled.

I also have a younger sister who helps but as she is younger she doesn’t do as much work as I do. We all do r work around the house and help care for each other. As my older sister is sick I tend to do most of her work for her and also help to do extra work so that my parents don’t have to do it all.

I love to cook and I see cooking meals as a way of helping to relieve mum and dads workload. I cook several times a week but I enjoy doing it most of the time. I also help with everyday chores like washing and cleaning.

Most of the time I don’t see my caring role as a burden. Until I was told I was a Young Carer I had no idea what they were or that they even existed. I thought that what I was doing was the same as what everyone else does. I do help more around the house than my friends do and I am more responsible and mature but I think this will make me better prepared for life than my classmates.

Through being a carer I have also made some wonderful friends whom I can talk to about anything. I attended Camp Rathane this year and it was a great opportunity to make new friends and to have a break from my caring role. I also learnt some very important life skills. Thank you to everyone involved in making these camps happen.

– Young carer, aged 15

Hi my name is Jessica and I am 15. My family life is very difficult as I have more than one person that I have to look after. I am one of the primary carers for my 3 brothers. Although they are autistic I know that they care about me and when my friends complain about their annoying siblings I just wish I could do something to show them that they have it fairly easy.

My mum says that we have it easier than some at least the boys can do things for themselves.

J* who has just turned 12 is in year 7 has just about annoyed me to the point of not return.

Just because he is now mainstreamed he thinks that he is allowed to bug me for money and stuff from the canteen.

My other brother is struggling with school too. He has been suspended and has had 5 detentions in the past 2 weeks.

N* is a worry, he can’t read properly and even though I love him he just antagonizes everyone.

I love my family and my brothers but sometimes I just wish that they would disappear.

I am wondering how many more people feel this way?

– Jessica, aged 15

* Names have been changed

I’d luv to live a normal life

but at the moment my family’s in strife

i luv to chill and hang with my friends

but at the moment my friends all have boy friends

young carers has helped quite a lot

it has filled that empty spot.

– Young Carer, aged 12

my brothers have their problems, but i am forever grateful of them they have showed me that not everything in life is fine and dandy.

My mum always said that through my brothers i will see that the world is not all as it should be, and i now know that.

I am proud of them all they bring light into the darkness and they know that i love them.

I find it hard to do anything with them around but then i remember that they have feelings too, that they need to learn how to grow up and how to be normal kids.

My friends don’t understand how i feel they always say why cant you come out or why can we never come over they don’t have the burdens of siblings with disabilities and they never will, they never try to listen when i tell them why.

When my mum used to take my brothers shopping with her she always felt self conscious and never did much, but eventually she got fed up of people commenting and staring and she made these cards that said “My boys are autistic and they cant control themselves and neither can i unless you want to try and deal with them then stop pointing and making comments because you are making things worse”, this made people stop very fast.

I always thought that was strange but now when i look back on it i can see that it was something that my mum had to do.

Going to school, working and trying to have a life is very difficult especially when you put it with caring for 4 people in your house hold but i guess that i kinda enjoy the excitement at times but at other times i just want my brothers and my mum to disappear.

– Young Carer, aged 15

I have a brother his name is John. He’s autistic and artistic with shaving cream. He loves to dream about the wiggles and he likes to giggle, he is sneaky and very cheaky and I fight but in the end it’s alright. He is funny and cuddly as a bunny. John loves high five which makes him jive.

I am in the middle, Cassie the oldest and John the youngest, the baby of the family. He can’t talk, but he loves to walk. We have the best mum in the world and she is never glum.

I know my brother John has a disability but he can do things to the best of his ability, John is my brother, and you see he can be annoying but that’s how things are meat to be.

– Rebecca, aged 16

Im Annalise, I’m 16. i have 2 brothers (22, 19) and My sister G* who is 14. G* was born with a rare mitochondrial disorder called Pyruvate Dehydrogenese Deficiency. i love her to death, because she cant communicate she has a high pitched squeal and a yelp to tell us she needs something.

Usually she just wants music or a new movie, but its hard to live with the fact she doesn’t i everywhere we go.

Even though her disease is life threatening we have still had the courage to take her overseas, (America, Disneyland) (Oman, Middle East 6 months)

We enjoy our time with her.

She has made me who i am

Young Carer, aged 16

* Names have been changed

My mother has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) She has had several suicide attempts and is an emotional alcoholic. She has been going on a downward spiral for about six years now and I’m almost 17. She relies on me to be her sole career as she has on, off relationships with those around her. If someone is having a problem, she believes it is a direct cause of her or she is hurting more than they are. She then distances herself from them and continues her depressive cycle. My mother also has several incurable health conditions such as IST (Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia) and severely low blood pressure, lung conditions, bleeding conditions, blood sugar conditions and so on. She has just recently been getting slightly better but it was short lived as yet another family situation took control over her and she has now lost control over herself. SHe doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of other people and their feelings towards situations and it’s very frustrating. I live with my 19 year old sister and cousin and they also have mental conditions, as have I. Although reactionary to these issues, they are no where near as severe as that of my mother’s. We all love her dearly and are at a loss as to what to do. I wish i could make her okay. I wish i could take her pain away and i wish I could go back in time when we still lived in New Zealand and none of these things were happening within the family. I want my old mum back. It’s kind of sad to miss someone when they’re right there in front of you.

Young Carer, aged 16

I really love my brother,
He’s the best there ever was,
And even though we weren’t born here,
We still call our home OZ,

He was going really well through school,

No problem at all,

And then he started to howl and scream,

Just from a simple fall,

At first the kids were worried,
Concerned that he was hurt,
And then they saw a tiny graze,
And a scratch upon his shirt,

But to Jack the graze was painful,
He needed a bandaid straight away,
“And what about the shirt?,
What’s Mum going to say?”,

And then, from that moment,
They all thought he was wierd,
And then they tried to think of something,

Something that he feared,

Then they started to tease him,
And he started to cry,
Then he lost his temper,
And punched them in the eye,

He dug his nails into their back,
Until they broke away,
And tried to kick them between the legs,

He’d really make them pay,

And then the teacher interviened,
And pulled him off the kid,
Sat him down in a chair,
Made him think about what he did,

Then he was overwhelmed,
He really started to cry,
“Mum’s going to kill me,
I am going to die”

Then the teacher called me over,
To find out what was wrong,
So I told the teacher,
“It was them all along”,

But other times this happened,
If he got into a fight,
Jack would get into trouble,
‘The other kid was in the right’,

Then this would happen all the time,
The kids would try to tease,
They would get a reaction,
And I’d be saying “Please,

Please don’t annoy my brother,
He’s just like me and you,
He’s a human being,
He has feelings too”,

But they wouldn’t listen,
And of course, Why would they?,
They’re just little kids,
They don’t know any better, anyway,

Now Jack’s in year 6,
He doesn’t get teased as much,
But sometimes they do,
‘Just a little touch’,

It just really annoys me,
That they treat him how they do,
And that I have to keep saying,
“He’s no different to me or you”.
– Young Carer, aged  14 

I think the hardest thing about my sisters disabilty, is the fact that we dont know what it will do to her in the future.

Hi I’m Niomi and i care for my older sister b* who is 18. She is undiagnosed, in a wheelchair and mentally a 5 year old, its hard because doctors don’t know what she has, her feet turn in and if they aren’t elivated they go purple, but if she is too hot her legs cant cope. B* is basically parrilized from the waist down. i have to help lift her from her wheelchair to the car, bed or the lounge. its hard physically and mentally. and its also hard on my parents but she also has moments where she can go from calm to being really angry. Sometimes i wonder what she would be like without her disabilty, but i also know she wouldn’t be B* then. I love her for all that she is.

Niomi, aged 16

* Names have been changed

My dad is seriously ill,

so he has to take some pill’s,

so it can help change his mood,

or else sometimes he can be rude,

most of the time he is sad,

or just really mad,

sometimes I wish he could,

always be good,

since he is an alcoholic he always wants a drink, and he never stops to think, cause he does not care, its really not fair, I wish he could get better, that’s why I wrote this letter

(dont worry he understands the letter)

Rose, aged 13

At the age of 10 my mum was diagnosed with breast Cancer. My dad took good care of her and was always looking out for her. I lost my mum in may last year after a 7 year battle with various cancer. I took care of my younger brother and my older sister. Losing my mum changed the way in which I approach life and how it affects my day to day life. I feel for all those who have lost a parent or a sibling.

Young Carer, aged 17

I have four siblings, two brothers, two sisters, I live with my sisters and my mum. A* is 7, R* is 4. A* is extremely intelligent, loving, caring, honest and kind. She likes pokemon, maths, reading facts about the world and facts that are solid. Real. Tangible. She is in year two and school. A* is autistic, and often she comes home and doesn’t say anything; but occasionally, when things are really bad, she will tell me about what the kids at school said to her. The worst thing is she doesn’t realise that they’re not being nice or funny. That they’re being downright cruel and nasty. Because A* is autistic she finds a lot of things difficult, she doesn’t have a lot of the problems other autistic people have because she is so smart, however, she still does have problems. She has a phobia of chips, both crisps and hot chips, often if we’re at the mall we will get trapped in the food court because she cannot find a way to get around them. She doesn’t like seeing people eating them, and has called them ‘thingys’ in order to try and circumnavigate the idea of saying the word or thinking of them. She is very set in her routine and will blow up if there is the slightest variation in it. On top of all of this she suffers from extreme anxiety, and is unable to grasp the concept of fiction. However, she is extremely loving and caring.

My other sister R*, who is four, is one of the sweetest kindest kids I know, R* has extreme delayed speech and will be travelling to Sydney later this year to visit a cerebral palsy specialist to confirm her diagnosis. She goes to an early intervention preschool two half days a week, and a mainstream preschool 5 days a fortnight. She finds this very taxing and tiring as it is a lot of school for a young person. She also has a great deal of frustration with the fact that her mainstream preschool do not understand her at all.

Because my mum is a single mum I often find that I am left to take my sisters places, or babysit them, even just looking after them when mum is home. I find this difficult, especially as I am in year 11 this year and the work load has almost doubled to what is was last year.

I have struggled with depression and the problems that can come with it, but I try to keep a grip on it so as not to affect my sisters whom I love very much. Despite the fact that it is difficult to live with and care for two young children with disabilities, it can be rewarding. And I love them both more than anything.

Young Carer, aged 16

* Names have been changed

A poem on paper in pencil
Is all it was meant to be
Not carved not typed not re-written
A poem on paper in pencil
Is all it was meant to be.

A poem on paper in pencil
Means something too special to me
A poem on paper in pencil
Is all it was meant to be.

Young Carer, aged 13

My mother has severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I feel terrible for resenting her for her own mental illness, but the fact that she has drawn so much life from my family infuriates me at times.

I am from a large family, and the fact that my siblings rely solely upon my father and myself to care for my mother also upsets me at times. It is so difficult, as many of you reading would surely know, to watch a person whom I once respected decline in such a way as to be such a huge burden upon my family. Every day, I see my father become more exhausted with the burden of supporting my mother and I can see myself going the same way.

I have changed so much of my life plan to accommodate caring for her and she remains oblivious and ungrateful, and despite knowing that this lack of gratitude is due to mental illness, I still find myself resenting her.

I simply wanted to make this post as I am aware that it is not only myself who feels this way. Recently, in speaking with other carers, I have found that this mantra of ‘it’s difficult but so rewarding’ that has become so ingrained in our psyche is often so false. I find very little reward in caring, but it is something that I do because I respect the value of family.

So, for those of you out there who feel the same, know that you are not alone. Stay strong, and believe that one day it will get better. It is that belief that gets me through. I hope it can do the same for you.

– Young Carer, aged 17

He doesn’t know me

He doesn’t really care

But deep down i know dad loves me

He just doesn’t show it often

Dad has biploar disorder

He can never think straight

He doesn’t like the help he gets

When dad is on a high he’s funny

But when he’s on a low, he sleeps

Highs don’t come that often

I wish he would listen to my day at school Or look at the picture i drew He might be proud Or not

I wouldn’t know…

But i love dad with my whole heart

He is my father after all

And i help him as much as i can

I love my father very much

I just wish he was normal..

Young Carer, age 15

I’ve always been mature for my age, even when I was very young. It may have been because I am an only child, maybe it was because I never had any friends, or maybe it was because I grew up in a single parent household with a disabled parent.

When my mum was 15 months old she had a stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side. I’ve always know I had to be patient and understanding when it comes to things that my mum is unable to do or simple things she needs help with.

When I was about 10 my mum was diagnosed with a skin disease called psoriasis. Then when I was about 13 she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. This effects every part of her body. She went from being one of the most independent people I know to needing help with almost 75% of things she does daily. From doing the chores around the house to helping her dress, to brushing her hair and Giving and reminding her about medication.

I guess why I’m telling you all this is so you understand what I go though on a daily basis. Ill admit that I’m probably not the best young carer and sometimes i don’t understand how to handle it, but I’m doing my best and getting better at it everyday. I love helping the people I love most, I love knowing that I’m making a difference but Most of all I love being a young carer!

Young carer, aged 17

I can smile, like you can
I can act, like you can
I can laugh, like you can
But you could never care like i can.

I see you at school, looking at that boy, looking at you; and think; how could be so selfish?

I see you at school, applying your make up in the mirror; and think; how could you be so blind?

I see you at school, ignoring the teacher and think; how could you be so naive?

I see you at school, doing your hair; and think; how could you be so vain?

I can smile, like you can
I can act, like you can
I can laugh, like you can
But the truth is, mine are all fake.
But if you push past my lies you’ll still find that you could never care like i do.

My brother Connor is 14,
Hes in year 8,
He wants to be a policeman when he grows up, His favourite colour is red, He hates peas, And hes autistic.

I cant smile, like you can
I cant act, like you can
I cant laugh, like you can

Because i worry all the time.

Where is he?
Who is he with?
Are they hurting him?
Is he hurting them?
Is he OK?

And it still remains, that the truth behind my lies is this; You could never EVER care like i do…
– Young Carer, aged 17 

I love my family so much. They love me just the same. But my family is different to other families. When my younger brother was born I was two years old. He was born deaf and with verbal dyspraxia. But luckily my family fought against these misfortunes and managed to get him talking and listening like anyone else. But when he was six years old he was diagnosed with Aspergers. I didn’t understand this at first because I was only eight at the time; I had no idea what it was or how it could affect my family’s future. When I first realised that this would have an effect on me was when he was repeating everything he heard while I was doing my homework. This swerved my concentration. I couldn’t see what the reason was for this. I got stressed and started to cry, then I realised that my brother is not going to get better. Sure he can get better with in the aspergers but he can’t get out of it. It was a tough time; my ballet helped me through these times. When I was born the doctors had to resuscitate me back to life several times. So they thought I was going to be in a wheel chair with no ability of movement or speech for the rest of my life. But I, most certainly showed them wrong; I was doing competitions in ballet. It saved me through the worst. It was something for me.

I have a sister as well, who is eight. She loves to sing and sports like netball and swimming. She also has learning difficulties and is trying to work through them. She tries to help too, but because she is eight prefers to just muck around. My baby brother was born when I was eleven years old. He was diagnosed with Autism at two. This was the start of the years that I became a full on young carer. I have to help take care of him a lot. He doesn’t act like other kids. He kicks and screams over small things and doesn’t understand others feelings. I would do what anybody would do with a child. Feed him, put him to sleep, teach him, play with him and of course love him. Life does become a bit of a pain because I do have to live my own life every once in a while. My parents are brilliant people. I would feel the worst if I didn’t help. My parents try their best to help my siblings; they just need that small third person to help out. I finished ballet the year my baby brother was born because I felt that my family needed the money and support to help my siblings through appointments. Whenever I feel like I’m just going to burst into tears it normally helps if I do something for myself. Like the computer (not always recommended), draw and basically do what I feel comfortable at the time.

The parts I look forward to the most is my brothers humour, my sisters sportiness and my baby brothers over enthusiasm. School is not a place of peace for myself. Since I suffer from dyslexia, school really reminds me of my flaws. How bad I am at such simple things. My dyslexia is high functioning but nerveless it still hurts me. The only two subjects I’m good at are art and drama. A good portion of my friends at school do not understand what is going on at home. Some people don’t even want to understand, they just think that I stress over nothing. But I’m very lucky to have my parents, my siblings and the young carers group because I know that they will be there for me. They teach me strength and give me comfort that I’m not the only one dealing with this problem.

Brittany aged 14

my mum has her days
but i still love her
she is the one who loves
and cares for me

she cares for me
and my four brothers
when the one that are autistic
go off the racks she is there

my brothers have their
problems
my mum has her days
but i love them

my mum is my mentor
my helper
and my friend
i always will love her

mum i love you
youve probably never heard this but
i really really love you

Young Carer, aged 15 

Hi, I care for my disabled brother, he has Mowat Wilson syndrome, Hirschprungs disease, congenital heart defects, epilepsy and lung disease. He is 20 years old. Although he can’t talk or understand much, what he does understand is love. He claps, he laughs and most of all he hugs as much as possible and his happiness definitely rubs off on people. He used to be able to eat and his favourite foods were hot chips, yogurt, chocolate and pizza shapes. He was always fed his nutrition through his button but since last year, when his lungs collapsed multiple times, they put a tracheostomy in his throat to breathe through so he cannot eat the things he loves and is fully fed through his button. It has been a rough time since then as the hospital tried to force him into a care home about half an hour away from the house without my mother’s consent. But anyways, he requires around the clock care so my mum stays at home and is pretty much awake all night and asleep all day, but it depends because his sleeping patterns vary.

I guess being a young carer doesn’t feel ‘heroic’ to me because it has been like this my whole life. But sharing my story feels weird, and a little self-victimising because there are obviously many people in a much, much worse situation to me. So I like to volunteer for things. When I grow up I want to live in a cob home or yurt, surrounded by nature and be less wasteful. Because I feel bad about how many plastic wrappers, food and many other things we waste in our house. I love my brother and I wouldn’t change anything about him for the world. Except the tracheostomy, because he loves his hot chips. Thanks for reading this story.

Young Carer, aged 13